I've spent the past three weeks battling over a difficult life decision, though one for which I am very grateful and lucky to have. I have two standing offers for post-doc positions, one a Fellowship at the National Center for Atmospheric Research in Boulder, CO, and another at Princeton University in the department of Civil and Environmental Engineering.
Three weeks ago, I heard back from the NCAR ASP Fellowship program informing me of my acceptance, but then unfortunately only providing two weeks to respond, a deadline that I was only able to push back by a few days. I have a planned trip to NCAR to give a talk in mid-April, which I had hoped would provide me the opportunity to get a good sense of what life would be like working there. This was to follow on from my visit to Princeton in early March, and from these trips I would make my decision. In the case of NCAR, the circumstances has altered this plan, and so I phoned a couple of folks at NCAR with whom I thought I would be most likely to work to get a feeling for what the opportunities would be while there.
There were a number of important considerations, both personal and professional, that I have been weighing. In terms of personal life, Boulder is a beautiful city within a couple of hours from the mountain slopes that boasts a high quality of life and a low cost of living. Three of my close friends actually live there now or will be living there. And the NCAR fellowship pays very very well. In contrast, Princeton itself is in the middle of New Jersey, though is only an hour or so from New York City, Philly, and an additional hour from DC. I also have a couple of close friends who will be there. And Princeton pays less in an area with a higher cost of living, though this is pending a response from two Fellowships to which I applied but from which I won't hear back until after I must make my decision. Clearly, in terms of personal life, it's NCAR 1 Princeton 0.
On the professional side, NCAR is a premiere spot for atmospheric science, whereas at Princeton I would be working in a Civil and Environmental Engineering department with a wide array of people, resources, and topics of research. Importantly, I've come to realize that my life as a young scientist over the past couple of years hasn't actually made me particularly happy. My young professional career thusfar has basically always been without barriers, which it turns out can allow one to make choices based on perceived value (e.g. prestige) rather than personal/professional satisfaction. It also means that I never have had to really think about what makes me happy. But one thing that clearly does not is the daily grind of doing basic science.
So I've finally pushed myself to think hard about a simple question: what inspires me? I know in my life that I have become highly inspired -- i.e. those activities that you choose to pursue with utmost excitement undeterred by barriers of time, space, or distraction -- on a number of occasions: trans fat, global warming group and website, econ damage paper. Individual, independent research does not fall on that list. Instead, the things I love entail activities that involve working for people or, at the least, working with people.
In short, I like making people happy. It's a characteristic that, frankly, does not translate well at all to being a scientist, at least not when it is your primary motivation.
So what does this mean for my professional life? It means that the choice between NCAR and Princeton is one between static change and new opportunity. In the former, I am continuing to be a scientist in a purely academic setting amongst a similar set of peers as I have been throughout grad school. In the latter, I will have significant exposure to a much broader set of topics and professional opportunities, though admittedly the atmospheric science resources available will be much more limited. But if I don't want a career as a basic scientist, then what's most important is that I find myself a new environment where I can find new options and challenges. Above all else, I need to feel excited.
I've come to realize that my personal satisfaction is closely tied to my perception of my professional fulfillment. Put simply, I need to do what makes me happy. It doesn't matter what that is, though internalizing this notion is not nearly as easy as you'd think. But I know what that isn't -- it's what I've been doing for the past 5 years.
Which means it's time for a new path, one full of opportunities that I can explore in order to really, truly figure out what it is that inspires me. Risk? Consulting? Teaching? Science? Policy?
I like the way my officemate put it: the positive way to view grad school was simply a test period to see if I like research. I now know that I don't like doing research alone. So it's time to try out some new options and see where they lead me. And to abandon long-held fantasies about what I "should" be -- a Professor, a scientist -- and let me decide for myself.
Princeton, here I come :)
Three weeks ago, I heard back from the NCAR ASP Fellowship program informing me of my acceptance, but then unfortunately only providing two weeks to respond, a deadline that I was only able to push back by a few days. I have a planned trip to NCAR to give a talk in mid-April, which I had hoped would provide me the opportunity to get a good sense of what life would be like working there. This was to follow on from my visit to Princeton in early March, and from these trips I would make my decision. In the case of NCAR, the circumstances has altered this plan, and so I phoned a couple of folks at NCAR with whom I thought I would be most likely to work to get a feeling for what the opportunities would be while there.
There were a number of important considerations, both personal and professional, that I have been weighing. In terms of personal life, Boulder is a beautiful city within a couple of hours from the mountain slopes that boasts a high quality of life and a low cost of living. Three of my close friends actually live there now or will be living there. And the NCAR fellowship pays very very well. In contrast, Princeton itself is in the middle of New Jersey, though is only an hour or so from New York City, Philly, and an additional hour from DC. I also have a couple of close friends who will be there. And Princeton pays less in an area with a higher cost of living, though this is pending a response from two Fellowships to which I applied but from which I won't hear back until after I must make my decision. Clearly, in terms of personal life, it's NCAR 1 Princeton 0.
On the professional side, NCAR is a premiere spot for atmospheric science, whereas at Princeton I would be working in a Civil and Environmental Engineering department with a wide array of people, resources, and topics of research. Importantly, I've come to realize that my life as a young scientist over the past couple of years hasn't actually made me particularly happy. My young professional career thusfar has basically always been without barriers, which it turns out can allow one to make choices based on perceived value (e.g. prestige) rather than personal/professional satisfaction. It also means that I never have had to really think about what makes me happy. But one thing that clearly does not is the daily grind of doing basic science.
So I've finally pushed myself to think hard about a simple question: what inspires me? I know in my life that I have become highly inspired -- i.e. those activities that you choose to pursue with utmost excitement undeterred by barriers of time, space, or distraction -- on a number of occasions: trans fat, global warming group and website, econ damage paper. Individual, independent research does not fall on that list. Instead, the things I love entail activities that involve working for people or, at the least, working with people.
In short, I like making people happy. It's a characteristic that, frankly, does not translate well at all to being a scientist, at least not when it is your primary motivation.
So what does this mean for my professional life? It means that the choice between NCAR and Princeton is one between static change and new opportunity. In the former, I am continuing to be a scientist in a purely academic setting amongst a similar set of peers as I have been throughout grad school. In the latter, I will have significant exposure to a much broader set of topics and professional opportunities, though admittedly the atmospheric science resources available will be much more limited. But if I don't want a career as a basic scientist, then what's most important is that I find myself a new environment where I can find new options and challenges. Above all else, I need to feel excited.
I've come to realize that my personal satisfaction is closely tied to my perception of my professional fulfillment. Put simply, I need to do what makes me happy. It doesn't matter what that is, though internalizing this notion is not nearly as easy as you'd think. But I know what that isn't -- it's what I've been doing for the past 5 years.
Which means it's time for a new path, one full of opportunities that I can explore in order to really, truly figure out what it is that inspires me. Risk? Consulting? Teaching? Science? Policy?
I like the way my officemate put it: the positive way to view grad school was simply a test period to see if I like research. I now know that I don't like doing research alone. So it's time to try out some new options and see where they lead me. And to abandon long-held fantasies about what I "should" be -- a Professor, a scientist -- and let me decide for myself.
Princeton, here I come :)
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